Awesome joke

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  • diss iz a funny jke >>> summ ov yoou mite hve heard it before ...
    " ur so fat, wen yoou get into an elevator, it HAS to go dwn"!
    diss is anuther hilarious jke...
    " ur so fat, wen yoou wlked in front ov da TV i missed 3 commercials"


    You misread the title, it says "Awesome joke", not "gibberish".


    Now, back on topic.


    If Helen Keller had a psychic ability, would you say that she had a fourth sense?

  • Since I feel so bored now, I'll just post a really AWESOME Joke.


    Why did the person cross the road?
    To get to the other side.


    (*YYYAAAWWWNNNN!*)


    jUST.......Try to laugh:lol: (zzzzzz)


    I'm so boring when I'm bored
    :|

  • Here are a couple of blonde jokes, 80% of which you've probably heard before...


    > How do you kill a blonde? -> you give her a knife and tell her to sing the national anthem


    > How do you know if a blonde's been on the computer? -> there's tippex on the screen


    > A blonde was sitting in a bar, watching news repeats on the public tv set. On the news, they were showing a clip of a man standing on top of a tall building, threatening to commit suicide. A brunette sitting near to the blonde said, "I'll bet you 10 bucks that guy is gonna jump." "Okay," said the blonde, and they both turned back to the tv, just in time to see the man taking the leap off the building. "Well, here's your 10 bucks," said the blonde. "It's all right," the brunette replied, "I saw him jump on the earlier news, so it wouldn't be fair to take your money." "Oh, I saw the earlier news as well," said the blonde, " but I didn't think he was stupid enough to jump a second time." :lol:


    > A man and his blonde wife were driving to their holiday home, when suddenly a rabbit jumped in front of the car. The man tried to swerve, but couldn't do so in time to save the rabbit. He immediately stopped the car, got out and ran over to where the rabbit was lying. It was in a mess with its head at an angle and cuts all over the place. The man looked back at his wife, expecting her to be full of tears, but she was just standing there with a straight face. She walked to the trunk of the car, opened it up and got out a bottle with some brownish liquid in it, then came up to the dead rabbit and poured some of the bottle's contents over the corpse, which proceeded to pick itself up and put itself together, all the wounds sealing. It then started hopping slowly to the side of the road. Suddenly, it turned back, and waved at the couple, and carried on hopping, then stopping, waving again, hopping a bit, waving, hopping, waving... Until it finally got off the road.
    The man looked at his wife, and asked, "What on Earth was in that bottle?" She turned it over, and he read the label:
    --> "Pantene Hair Restorer with Permanant Wave" :lol:


  • Well....arent you going to tell?its been long enough already :evil:tell :evil:

  • Why did man cross the road?
    --> in order to survive the present global economic crises that is invading our lives today and counter
    it using extreme methods of such tools of economics that have been successfully utilized upto today
    where research must be done in order to ensure that man's lives run ever so satisfying and
    would result in reaping the benefits of the civilized population present today, with exponentially
    improved GDP rates, inflation standards favouring the money market and continual use of
    science and medicine that will achieve in producing a better generation of future peoples
    within the children of today that will ensure the yield of resulting in successful lives and
    income stability for the children of today making their future lives ever so satisfying
    and less of a burden towards others in society. This is why man needs to "cross the road".

  • An Egyptian girl went up to a roman boy and asked "what can u do for me?"
    The boy replied, "come behind the PYRAMID I'll make u a MUMMY".


    :roll:

  • A bear is chasing a rabbit through the woods. They're running along, and just as the bear is about to catch the rabbit, they both trip on a lamp and a genie pops out. They all start talking...


    Genie: Hey there! Since you both found me at the same time, you both get three wishes!
    Bear: Oooooh, me first! Okay, um.... I wish all the other bears in the forest were pretty GIRL bears!
    Genie: Wish granted. Now what's your first wish?
    Rabbit: I wish I had a helmet.
    Genie: Okaaaay...
    Bear: Uh... I wish all the other bears in the whole CONTINENT were girl bears :D
    Genie: Done.
    Rabbit: I wish I had a moped.
    Genie: Granted.
    Bear: My last wish... hmm... I WISH EVERY OTHER BEAR IN THE WHOLE WORLD WAS A GIRL BEAR!!!
    Genie: Sure :)
    Rabbit: I wish the bear was gay!


    The rabbit then puts on his helmet and speeds away on his moped.

  • Why did the 11 year old boy cross the road?


    A: because spermatogenesis took place in which the spermatogonium divided
    by mitosis forming new generations of spermatogonia in which some eventually
    grow forming primary spermatocytes dividing my meiosis forming secondary spermatocytes and eventually dividing by mitosis yet again forming spermatids which eventually differentiate into spermatozoa-whilst in the process, the maturing cells
    are protected and nourished by Sertoli cells which also interact with the hormones
    produced in the pituitary gland regulating sperm production in the walls of the
    seminiferous tubules.

  • Mazeppa is a spamming machine!
    Anyway, to keep my post relevant...


    Many people strive to kill two birds with one stone. I can kill two stones with one bird.

  • I wanna know who wrote that and asked how many pictures he got.
    here are some jokes that i found.


    A hunter has called 911.


    Dispatcher:911 what is your emergency?


    Hunter:I...I think my friend is dead! He just plopped down and died!


    Dispatcher:Sir please calm down first make sure he is dead.


    Hunter:Okay hold on.
    *The dispatcher hears 2 distinct gunshots


    Hunter:Okay now what?


    And This IS one of my personal favorites



    Top 10 reasons to get a Gun over getting a Woman


    #10 - YOU CAN TRADE AN OLD 44 FOR A NEW 22.


    #9 - YOU CAN KEEP ONE HANDGUN AT HOME, AND HAVE ANOTHER FOR WHEN YOU'RE ON THE ROAD.


    #8 - IF YOU ADMIRE A FRIEND'S HANDGUN, AND TELL HIM SO, HE WILL PROBABLY LET YOU TRY IT OUT A FEW TIMES.


    #7 - YOUR PRIMARY HANDGUN DOESN'T MIND IF YOU KEEP ANOTHER HANDGUN FOR A BACK UP.


    #6 - YOUR HANDGUN WILL STAY WITH YOU EVEN IF YOU RUN OUT OF AMMO.


    #5 - A HANDGUN DOESN'T TAKE UP A LOT OF CLOSET SPACE.


    #4 - HANDGUNS FUNCTION NORMALLY EVERY DAY OF THE MONTH.


    #3 - A HANDGUN DOESN'T ASK, "DO THESE NEW GRIPS MAKE ME LOOK FAT?


    #2 - A HANDGUN DOESN'T MIND IF YOU GO TO SLEEP AFTER YOU USE IT.


    And, the number one reason a handgun is favored over a woman...


    #1 - YOU CAN BUY A SILENCER FOR A HANDGUN !!!

  • three privates wait to leave vietnam without anything to talk about with the crew back home. so decide to take a bet from general. pick 2 points on your body and have it measured by a medic, earn 10 dollar for every inch measured.


    the 1st private had his arm span measured, 36 inches equals $360


    the 2nd private had his height measured from head to toe, the guy was a 7 footer thus 84 inches equals $840!


    the last private wanted to measure the base of his "rod" to the tip of his "rod"... the general advised against it but the private insisted. so the private drops his trowsers and the medic attaches the tape measure to the man's groin when suddenly:


    "Private! where's your rifle (anatomical one)!"


    "Left it in a torture room in Ho Chi Minh sir!"


    p.s:you should figured out already that i like guns(not anatomical ones)

  • A couple of the handgun ones were pretty funny. I think #5 was my favorite.