Official Statement to the Press
August 5th, 2018
My fellow Travian loving members of this wonderful and beautiful community,
..I did not want to title this with the word "problem", but they told me, they said to me, they said, they told me, "You have to have flashy words in headlines to grab their attention."
..It has been overwhelming the amount of support we have been receiving for the Universal Cranny Coverage initiative. You can see many, many Travianites have covered many of their resources with mass cranny construction. These account with ten thousand, even twelve thousand in cranny protection. Many of them have alliance names similar to their account names. Well, these accounts, I have the information about these accounts. If, in the future you run into an alliance member who asks questions about these accounts you can just send them to this press release. We need every eye we can get on this document. Trust me, this information is very, very important.
..Let me start with this. I have it on good authority, the best authority, that these accounts are not ran by Travian themselves, as some may have previously believed. This is not true. Our great men and women within the intelligence agencies, the great people of our intelligence agencies, have assured me that these accounts are ran by hackbotters. Well, you may be thinking, "But Donald, what are hackbotters?" That is a very good question, and one I have been told that I can answer. I have all the information about these accounts. These accounts, these seemingly normal members of our Travian community, are in fact brainwashed spies from the Tuetonic Cold War of 2013. They sit by, quietly running the account, sending the hero on adventures, upgrading resource fields, all the while building up crannies, one on top of the other until they are called upon. It is my understanding that their secret activation code is "вы теперь активированы". Make sure not to utter these words around those blank faced robots.
..Now that you know how to recognize these blank faced, dead eyed robots, you can find them in future servers. These accounts, these spies hidden among us, they can be beneficial to us here in the Travian community. These hackbotters, they run adventures, they post things to the auction house from these adventures. I am asked many times, they ask me, they say, "Mister Trump, these account make defensive troops." I tell them, no they do not. These accounts run adventures and sometimes you get troops from adventures, that is all it is is. Troops from adventures folks.
..This is basic trickle down economics people. Thanks to them you are still able to find very useful items on the auction house. You are still able to sell your items on a bustling marketplace, and who keeps the auctions bustling? They make very good little raid targets early on if you know how to spot them. To take full advantage of the these accounts, the Tuetonic Hero passive effect of cranny dipping comes in very handy with a pouch of the thief.
..These accounts do get slowly removed however, do not think they will be around for ever so take advantage of them while you can.
ⅅℴ℘ℓⅆ ℐ. ℭℯⲙ℘
Donald J. Trump, President of COM4