Diary of a Squirrel

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    • Diary of a Squirrel

      Posting our diary-entries here, since nobody bothers to read our profile :(
      Divas need attention

      - - - Updated - - -

      First entry:

      Today I found myself lost in a large forest. Full of light, shining down from treetops. I made my way across the the dead leaves, laying there as a warning of the future winters to come.
      Suddenly I froze, hearing the distant chattering of an unknown source.
      I breathed heavily, then slowly I began feeling strong, courageous and full of fluffyness again.
      I moved across the hill, slowly and full of curiosity I looked above the hilltop, and there, glittering in the water of the lake..... Italians.... eating pizza while bathing!!

      Absolutely Barbaric!





      - - - Updated - - -

      Second entry:



      After a harsh winter, I spent the morning collecting nuts in the woods, when the strangest thing happened. Out of nowhere, God himself appeared before me! Starstruck and afraid, I couldn't move, and to make things even worse, God decided to smite me with his angelic troops! But as a critter of the forest, the other animals decided to help me, and together we crushed God's minions on our own turf.

      Are squirrels truly mightier than God himself?


      The post was edited 2 times, last by Placebo ().

    • Third Entry

      Deer Diary This is Just a Tribute.

      Press play and sing along with us




      "Early this morning me and my brother FNUG here,
      We were collecting NUTS in a dark and lonesome FORREST.
      All of a sudden, there shined a shiny ITALIAN.
      In the middle of the QUAD.
      And he said:
      "Play the best GAME in the world, or I'll eat your NUTS." (NUTS)

      Well me and FNUG, we looked at each other,
      And we each said. "Okay."
      And we played the first thing that came to our heads,
      Just so happened to be,
      The Best GAME in the World, it was The Best GAME in the World


      Look into my eyes and it's easy to see
      One and one make two, two and one make three,
      It was destiny.
      Once every hundred-thousand years or so,
      When the NUTS doth shine and the FUR doth glow
      And the grass doth grow

      Needless to say, the ITALIAN was stunned.
      Whip-crack went his whoopy BREX-IT,
      And the ITALIANS were done.
      He asked us: "(snort) Be you angels?"
      And we said, "Nay. We are but SQUIRRELS."

      NUTS!

      Ahhh, ahhh, ahhh-ah-ah,
      Ohhh, whoah, ah-whoah-oh
      This is not The Greatest GAME in the World, no.
      This is just a tribute.
      Couldn't remember The Greatest GAME in the World, no, no.
      This is a tribute, oh, to The Greatest GAME in the World,
      All right! It was The Greatest GAME in the World,
      All right! It was the best muthafu**in' GAME the greatest GAME in the world.


      And the peculiar thing is this my ITALIANS:
      The GAME we PLAYED on that fateful MORNING it didn't actually LOOKED
      Anything like this GAME.
      This is just a tribute! You gotta believe it!
      And I wish you were there! Just a matter of opinion.
      Ah, f**k! Good God, God lovin',
      So surprised to find you can't stop it.
      All right! All right"



      The post was edited 8 times, last by Lovgren666 ().

    • Black- wrote:

      There is too much to read:8)


      Its ok its not homework

      placebo you are simply.......NUTs
      The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist

      I'm telling you this guy is protected from up on high by the Prince of Darkness
      they always said, "I don't believe in God, but I'm afraid of him." Well I believe in God, and the only thing that scares me is Keyser Soze
    • Dark Is Back wrote:



      Be careful, my little troll friend. squirrels are my friends.. :@
      Inventore del motto "Meglio un uovo oggi, che veder crescere uno ShowTheMain Domani."
      -Pluriconquistatore di Natar-
      -Maestro in arti forumistiche-
      -Primo a paragonare Ogniqualsiasi ally a degli scarsi-
      -Miglior amico di SC-




      TUTTI QUANTI, TUTTI QUANTI, TUTTI QUANTI VOGLION FARE JAZZ!
      1º S5: El Poli - 1º S9 : Ametista - 8º 3x: Rocknpialla

      The post was edited 3 times, last by Mr. CinghialoTheMain ().

    • squirrel stew
      Directions See How It's Made
      Roll the squirrel pieces in flour, salt, and pepper.
      Brown in butter.
      Add squirrel and all other ingredients, (with the exception of the tomatoes), to the boiling water, cover, and simmer for 1-1/2 to 2 hours.
      Add the tomatoes and continue to simmer another hour.
      Carlsberg, is a weak beer.

      >.>
    • Fourth entry:

      When a squirrel-family becomes large enough, it is time to expand the territory and inhabit a new tree, in order to ensure all the squirrels are warm and cozy. Finding a suitable tree to inhabit is usually not a difficult task, as there are plenty of trees in the woods. However, when I brought my family out today looking for one, we shockingly discovered that all the best trees were already taken! By some other VERMIN! There's currently foam frothing around my mouth, I hope it's not rabies.



      Why doesn't anyone want to just hug a poor squirrel?
    • Needed: Italian Dual

      Looking for an italian dual please i neeeed 1 mia piache an italian dual
      The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist

      I'm telling you this guy is protected from up on high by the Prince of Darkness
      they always said, "I don't believe in God, but I'm afraid of him." Well I believe in God, and the only thing that scares me is Keyser Soze
    • Dear diary.

      I fear i do have rabies. I met this fox some weeks ago when i first moved into this tree. He didn’t like me very much, and almost bit my tongue off, it may be the source of the contamination.
      So our relationship became kind of awkward… last night him and his pals was running around the neighborhood a lot, being all noisy and disturbing my otherwise so relaxing day to day business. So, just to quiet him down a little, I threw some nuts at him. He didn’t like it a lot, calling his friends in the foxy pack. I tell you, nuts, twigs, leaves and some occasional foam from my mouth flew all over the place I even threw myself at one point. Needless to say, We are not friends with the foxies anymore…

    • Dear Diary



      I think my fever has broken. It took some effort though. I tried to relax, and went skinny-dipping Saturday, luckily there were no Italians eating pizza by the water. It was great, but to my utter embarrassment I think I saw a fox sneaking around in the bushes and heard him run off. And the next morning, I was informed that some Russian flying squirrels also had seen him, and thrown some nuts at him. I collected a handful of nuts, and went hunting for the foxi through the woods. Not hitting much but treetrunk, earth, weeds and stuff. Apparently I had left my stench on the foxies territory regardless, so he came to my house today to complain. I told him kindly “do you mind sodding off!, needless to say he kinda ran his head against my treetrunk.
      Anyways, now I am back to relaxing and the fever has run off, it kinda feels like a vacation (for the both of us).